About This Episode
When your child is clearly upset, put your reasons and logic on hold, and get down at their level. Recognize the feelings they are expressing and call those out. By doing so, you’ll give your child a vocabulary of emotions that they can draw on to describe how they are feeling about situations. Once they are able to express themselves clearly, and they calm down, they will be in a better place to listen to the advice, rules and expectations you want to go over with them. To help children own and understand their own feelings, though, it’s helpful to also work on recognizing these feelings for yourself as well. When you are able to understand and manage your own feelings, you’ll be able to help others work through theirs. As you recognize your child’s feelings, they will feel validated and instead of resisting, they will be more inclined to join you.
People On This Episode
Dr. Alicia La Hoz
This Week's Action
Practice recognizing your children’s feelings
- Action: You see your child kick his sibling
- Response: “You are upset right now. Go ahead and take a break in your room and we will talk some more about this after you cool off.”
- Action: Adolescent rolls his/her eyes at you
- Response: “When you rolled your eyes at me, that was hurtful. You don’t care for what I have to say and it is disappointing to me that you don’t value my opinion or our rules.”
- Action: Child says, “I can’t do this.”
- Response: “It can be frustrating for a moment when you feel stuck in a problem, like your homework.”
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