A Groom’s Journey to the Altar
They say that when girls are little they dream about their wedding as one of the biggest days of their life. Little boys, on the other hand, don’t even want to be around girls when they are little because girls have cooties! I guess as little boys turn into young men, they start to think more about marriage, family and their future lives. I won’t say that I have had an obsession to get married, but I knew that I definitely wanted to get married and have a family one day. I knew that I wanted to do things a bit differently than what I had seen from my parents. Having experienced divorce within our family, and myself, having gone through a hard breakup after a long-term relationship came to an end, I drew the line in the sand. I made sure that if I was to consider marriage, I wanted to do everything in my power to prepare and learn so that I could be the best possible husband and father I could be. Five years ago, I made that commitment to myself and my future wife (even before I knew her!) Maybe by this point you’re thinking, well you’re not like every other guy. While that may be true, I didn’t want to end up as another statistic, adding to the increasing number of broken families and marriages that exist within our country. I wanted to be different and this would require me to think and do things different from the norm. So here I am ladies and gentlemen, in the midst of preparing for my wedding. As you will see, I am really involved in the process, because it’s not just my future wife’s day, it’s our day. We are celebrating our marriage and our lives coming together. I want to be involved because while a wedding may last a day, or really a few hours, a marriage will last a lifetime!
On November 4th we got engaged. We are roughly 3 months into the engagement and 9 months away from the wedding date. The process so far has been relatively smooth. Since our engagement we have already booked a venue, caterer, photographer, picked out our color scheme, and nailed down a primary guest list. Maybe you are thinking, hey you’re moving quick on this. I think we are moving very intentionally because our situation is a bit unique. For starters, my fiancée and I live in different states. So we have to be really intentional about doing as much as we can when we have the time. But as we started the first two things on my mind were, we need to develop the budget and we need to figure out where we were going for our honey-moon. Just kidding, it was figuring out a budget and how long did I have to wait until we went on our honeymoon. : )
I have developed a healthy understanding for finances and during my single days I was able to eliminate all of my debt. I wanted to make sure that as we entered into marriage we took a healthy approach to finances. So before we had a date set, we locked down a budget. When you know the end line, you can work your way backwards. My fiancée and I talked about it and what our non-negotiables were. Again, we are planning for a day, an awesome celebration of unity, holy matrimony, I wanted to make sure that we would be able to celebrate this moment for years to come and not be strapped down financially just for a few hours. Things add up quick! It helps to have some essential things in place. In other words, I want to stay within our means and not go into debt from this event.
It’s funny, I don’t think that I have been on Pinterest or Etsy more in my life than now. Looking at rings, rustic wedding ideas, seeing what things I can attempt to make. We have been looking at as many resources as we can to help us with the planning; asking friends, reading blogs and books. So far, one of our biggest challenges we are facing is the guest list. What’s the proper etiquette? Kids or no kids? Co-workers, close friends, just family, second cousin once removed, who makes the cut? This has been really difficult in light of the budget. It’s helpful that we both have smaller families. Again, with our unique situation, for my side of the family this will be like a destination wedding. (Remember we live in different states.) For her, all of her friends and relatives already live in Florida. This has yet to be solidified, but we are doing our best to keep it as intimate as possible, but it is really hard. There’s a lot of people who have been a part of our lives, especially at different stages, that we would like to have them there to celebrate with us. The process continues.
And in the midst of all of this, I’m doing my best to enjoy this time. This will be the only time that I get to enjoy this engagement season. I’m also doing my best to get ripped, or wedding fit! I’m being just being honest here. I know that I have a wedding coming up. I want to look good for my wife. Remember my two biggest concerns are budget and honeymoon! Until next time…
To follow my journey or to read more blogs about the different stages of marriage visit https://familybridgesusa.org and follow us on social media @familybridges with #whymarriage.