How to Get What You Want
Let’s start this little journey off by getting one thing straight. NO ONE and I mean NO ONE, is a mind reader. It doesn’t matter if you’ve known someone since childbirth, or that you are completely in tune with one another, the simple fact is that no one (probably not even you) knows what’s going on in your head all of the time. If you’re expecting someone to read your mind, expect to be utterly disappointed.
So, you want something and you don’t know how to go about getting it? Here are a few things to get you going.
Know what you want
This may seem obvious, but if you don’t know what you want, then it’s just a guessing game for everyone involved. Once you know exactly what it is you want, it’s easier to ask for it.
ASK for what you want
Yes, you have to ASK for it. It may seem obvious to you, but like I said, people aren’t mind readers. Also, this isn’t about demanding something. Your wish isn’t everybody’s command. You really do need to ASK and ask nicely.
Watch your attitude
Speaking of asking nicely, you know that the way you ask for something makes a HUGE difference. Think about the last time someone asked you for something with an attitude. Did you do it? Probably not. If you have an attitude while you’re asking, chances are the other person will just put up a wall and say…
So, watch your ‘tude and put your best foot forward. Like your abuelita always says, “Se cazan más moscas con una gota de miel que con un barril de vinagre”. In other words, ask nicely.
Be clear and specific
When you’re asking for whatever it is that you’re asking for, be clear and specific. Leave no room for interpretation. Keep your sentences short and be ready to answer questions.
Yup. You read that right. Maybe there’s a middle ground you can both agree on. It’s a starting point. You may not always get your way, but a little nudge in the right direction could be good for the both of you. Plus, maybe the middle ground is the better ground.
Use your manners
Regardless of the outcome, end with a thank you.
There you have it. What is it that you want? For laundry to make it into the laundry basket? For your family to have dinner together at the same time with no phones in sight? For you mother-in-law to respect your boundaries? Follow the steps above and let me know how they work out.
Sarah Pichardo is the Creative Director at Family Bridges. When she’s not obsessing over pixels, designs and scripts – or brainstorming plans to take over the world – she’s probably reading a book or overdoing it with the Christmas decorations.
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