for women

Wise Up Girls: Martha Razo

Sara — Fri, 07 Oct 2022 14:23:02 +0000

Wise Up Girls: Martha RazoSara Fri, 10/07/2022 - 09:23

Martha Razo shares her story of how she said yes to getting an education, no matter how many people told her no.

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Wise Up Girls: Inspirational Series

Episode

Relay Race: Advancing Young Women to the Finish Line

Sara — Tue, 23 Mar 2021 13:14:13 +0000

Relay Race: Advancing Young Women to the Finish Line

Sara Tue, 03/23/2021 - 08:14 Mar 23, 2021

The 2018 women's 4-by-400 relay race in the NCAA Championships was considered one of the greatest comebacks of all time. It looked like Perdue was winning, and just seconds before, USC took the lead. Relay races are not just about the one talented athlete; the strong teams work together in a unified front, strategically building on their individual strengths.

At times I have felt like I have been a runner in a relay race. And at times, I have felt like I was the baton that a group of women had passed along in their intentional effort to connect, correct, and build my capacity. They have worked strategically and brought me to the finish line.

You see, I come from a family of six girls. They are all very strong women holding their own as they have navigated their educational pursuits, careers, and ministries, all while raising wholesome children who have flourished as young adults. I was the fifth in this line, and growing up, I recall squishing myself in the living room sofa (because we all had to pile up in one comfy place) as I listened to their romantic adventures, their work struggles, or their take on the family "chisme" (gossip). As the years have passed, while the sofa and living room has changed, we still find comfort in lounging on one of our homes' inviting couches whenever we get together. Their resilience, laughter, joy, and purpose are internalized in the fiber of who I am. They might not have known, but they have carried me through.

I also think back at the teachers that inspired, corrected, and encouraged me along the way. I recall sitting in an English honors class in a public high school in South Broward, FL, that begged for some serious educational reform. I recall feeling somewhat awkward in a classroom of what I esteemed as brilliant and very adept kids. I felt like I had to work harder than all the kids who seemed to have written papers in 5 minutes while I struggled for hours. This teacher carried me through patiently, kindly, and firmly holding me accountable, ensuring I excelled.

Similarly, while I was at Trinity Evangelical University, my advisor, Dr. Elizabeth Skjoldal, stopped me several times in the hallway, encouraging me to pursue graduate studies. And as I finished my Masters, she connected me to faculty from the doctoral program in Psychology at Wheaton College. She didn't just believe in me; she went out of her way to make a connection.

While I completed my internship program for the Doctoral Program, I was welcomed at Meier Clinics. Nancy Brown, the President, encouraged the development and growth of Family Bridges, first a program and now a non-for-profit.

And as I developed the programs within Family Bridges, I have been showered with support from mentors and advisors now serving in our board, such as Debbi Speck and Dr. Susy Francis Best, and from our stellar visionary leaders in our executive team: Maria Buchanan, Omaira Gonzalez, Sarah Pichardo, Damaris Bran, and Barbara Linek.

I stand today in a place that has been ushered in by the many women who have cheerleaded me on, made social connections I lacked, who coached me while I wrestled with difficult decisions, whom I have drawn inspiration and encouragement from, and who supported my dreams by rolling up their sleeves and working to make things happen.

Now the question is, how can I give back? Who can I advocate and help advance?

Who can you cheerlead onward?

A few years ago, we started the Wise Up Girls program to intentionally work with young women as they sought to make wise decisions about the relationships in their lives and their aspirations. It is an upstream solution instead of a downstream intervention.

Helping young women understand healthy attachments, being aware of the danger signs indicative of an abusive relationship, and helping them establish healthy boundaries would save so many from much heartache and distress.

When young women put toxic relationships first, it puts them at a greater risk for trauma, deters them from their life goals, and increases the chances that they end up in difficult situations.

On the other hand, when young women put themselves first by completing a vocational degree and gaining employment before entering into parenting, they are most likely to avoid a life of poverty. By working on themselves first, they increase their economic prospects and the opportunities to get ahead.

Over the years, the Wise Up Girls program has evolved. We first started by providing scholarships to young women to encourage their educational goals. We've now added a second element, matching them with executive coaches that help them reach their goals, make social and professional connections, and provide a space for them to be vulnerable and encourage them as they share the struggles they face.

We can carry the upcoming generation forward in the same way that others have carried us. What will you do this year to run the relay race forward?

Interested in being a coach? Check out the Bridgekeepers program. Would you like to support the Wise. Up Girls program monetarily? Donate to support our programs.

by Alicia La Hoz, Psy.D.

for women

young adults

Language English

Don’t Give Up

rlara — Mon, 18 Mar 2019 13:32:10 +0000

Don’t Give Up

rlara Mon, 03/18/2019 - 08:32 Mar 18, 2019

I remember the hot summer day I went in for my annual mammogram. I was touched by a young woman I saw in the waiting room, huddled under a blanket, shaking in fear of her upcoming test. I said to myself, a little cocky, “Thank God I’m not scared like her because I’m not worried about this. No one in my family has ever had cancer so I’ll be fine.” Twenty minutes later, I was ushered from the mammogram room to the nurse’s office to talk about next steps because they saw something unusual during my test. So much for being cocky! I was surprised to be diagnosed with breast cancer since we have no family history but I quickly learned that other things could trigger it. I didn’t realize it at the time, but now I know that this was the first day of a lifelong journey.

Of course, surgery was the next step. My surgeon was a wise man. He told me to bring family and friends to my second appointment with him because he wanted to answer all their questions before operating, not afterwards. This helped me form the habit of inviting someone along to every appointment and treatment. That way I never felt alone, which was important to keep my spirits up. Throughout this process, I learned that positive thoughts are essential to healing. For that important appointment before surgery, I invited my two children and a friend who is a retired nurse and knew all the right questions to ask. My children are both adults and have their distinct personalities. My son had no experience expressing his concern for my health and chose humor as his tool. One memorable conversation began, “So are you gonna die on me, Ma?”

My daughter, on the other hand, is a doctor, trained to always maintain a clinical distance. She focused her questions on my treatment plan, not expressing her worries or fears for my health until months later.

The surgery went smoothly, soon followed by chemotherapy. I cleared my usually-packed calendar and waited to feel nauseous or something. It never happened. Some days I was tired and left work early to take a nap. After sitting home nights and weekends for the first month, I decided to resume my normal after-work activities. I squeezed in a nap when necessary but most days I felt fine. I was surprised and the oncologist was pleased. She attributed my energy to my strong faith and positive attitude. I also think those sweet friends who accompanied me to those four- or five-hour long chemo treatments were key. I chose them carefully for the positive thoughts they exude—and their ability to keep a conversation going that long!

After my final chemo treatment, I took a weekend trip to visit friends in St. Louis. This was a big mistake! Not allowing my body time to recuperate after that last blow caused me to develop swelling in my legs. This made it hard for me to walk, and I got very depressed. My coworkers were worried and decided to throw a surprise party for me. I noticed the preparations but I assumed the lavish party was for someone who was leaving the organization. You could have knocked me over with a feather when they said it was all for me! I was so moved by their kindness and encouragement. It took several weeks of intensive treatment to get the swelling down and, to this day, I need to be careful.

Radiation was the third step in the process. Radiation treatment took a few minutes a day, five days a week for a month. Doctor K. was as warm and kind as my surgeon and oncologist. And she was a great listener. I pushed her to finish treatment before my new grandchild was born. That way I would be able to go to Florida to visit my daughter and the new baby as soon as they got out of the hospital.

My last radiation treatment was on a cool spring morning. Doctor K. brought tears to my eyes when she congratulated me on my graduation and pinned a navy and white polka dot ribbon on my denim jacket. She reminded me to return for my next mammogram in six months. I still wear that polka dot ribbon on my jacket as a reminder of this long journey. I am grateful for my family and all the beautiful people who made breast cancer a positive experience of growth and encouraged me to never give up!

by Barbara A. Linek, MA

health

for women

Language English

for women

Wise Up Girls: Martha Razo

Relay Race: Advancing Young Women to the Finish Line

Don’t Give Up

Breaking bad news to your kids