A Clue

As a child, I was captivated by the magic of Saturday morning cartoons, especially the timeless antics of Tom and Jerry. For those who might not know, this classic animated series showcases the relentless pursuit of a clever mouse by a hapless cat. The rivalry between Tom, the cat, and Jerry, the mouse, fuels a whirlwind of chaotic adventures, each more daring than the last. You can almost feel Tom's frustration with every failed attempt to catch Jerry, driving him to concoct even more intricate and risky schemes.

Have you ever felt the sting of frustration, like chasing a dream only to be met with roadblocks of rejection or disappointment? Every day, we face moments that test our patience—whether it's being cut off in traffic or sidelined by a colleague or loved one. So, how do we handle these bottled-up emotions?

Often, we turn to what psychologists call defense mechanisms. Our creativity shines through in the myriad ways we cope, from denial and distraction to humor and rationalization.

While these strategies can help us navigate life's challenges, we may miss out on some clues that can help us avoid repeating a type of Tom and Jerry chase in our own relationships.

Much like the intriguing game of Clue, where each hint unravels a mystery, if we pause and pay attention, our emotions can provide helpful hints, revealing the fundamental values that shape our actions and reactions.

Recently, I discovered just how transformative these insights can be for leaders. During a Bridges XL Leadership workshop I recently facilitated with participants at Convey Health Solutions in South Florida (pictured above), it became clear that among all the strategies we explored, the ADKAR model stood out for its remarkable clarity and effectiveness, resonating powerfully with everyone involved. One participant commented:

“I can use the model to prevent and address issues I face."

The Adkar model, a framework crafted by Jeff Hiatt nearly two decades ago, addresses a critical challenge in organizational change: the disconnect employees often feel when they don't grasp the significance of embracing change or the steps to implement it effectively. As new initiatives roll out, it's not uncommon to witness a spectrum of emotional responses—fear, anxiety, frustration, confusion, and resistance. These reactions, whether observed in yourself or others, serve as vital indicators of the competencies that need attention within your organization. For instance, frustration may stem from a lack of confidence or training, or from feeling that one's skills are being tested. The Adkar model offers a comprehensive 5-step roadmap—Awareness, Desire, Knowledge, Ability, and Reinforcement—to navigate and work through the complexities of change.

The model is one, of many, that when utilized consistently helps leaders sort through an emotionally charged environment when implementing change or even when addressing the challenges teams face.

You don't need to be at the helm of a company or lead a team to unlock the potential of tools such as this one.

Imagine you're a parent aiming to instill better organizational habits in your teenager. This model can help you navigate the inevitable resistance or pushback.

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, whether at home or work, emotions run high. People often carry the weight of frustration, fear, and anxiety.

Wanting to be helpful, we tend to respond with a barrage of advice and solutions, overlooking the emotional core. By first being curious, truly listening to the heart, we can offer support and comfort that resonates deeply. And when we understand why they are upset, we can make our guidance more impactful.

By understanding your emotions and noticing the emotions of others—and what fuels them—you can navigate your responses in a way that is fruitful, positioning yourself to inspire and guide others effectively.

Know Your Triggers: Learn about emotional dysregulation or what are commonly called “triggers.” Some examples, are noted below:

• Being micromanaged
• Harsh criticism
• Overthinking situations
• Distrust in others
• Confrontations
• Feeling undervalued
• Questioned about your competency

Know Your Physical Signs:

• Racing heartbeat
• Shallow or rapid breath
• Tightened jaw or fist
• Excessive perspiration

Notice Your Typical Reactions

• Argumentative
• Dismissing others viewpoints
• Being silent or withdrawn
• Blaming

What are your emotional triggers? 

What have you noticed are your typical physical signs and reactions?

Learn more about how to harness your emotions by checking out our FACE model, described in our Growth program. The FACE model is another tool that you can lean on to help you manage tension and have a better understanding of emotions.