The Layers of Grief: A Journey of Healing and Hope

Describing grief is complicated. It has many layers, each stirring emotions we never expected. We often hear about the seven stages of grief—shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance—but knowing them intellectually and experiencing them are two different realities. Grief is not a straight path; it is a rollercoaster, with sudden drops, slow climbs, and moments where we feel completely upside down. Some days bring clarity and peace, while others leave us gasping for air under the weight of sorrow.

In the past two to three years, I have grieved the loss of several family members. Each loss felt like another loop in that rollercoaster—sometimes steady, sometimes spinning out of control. There were days of quiet reflection, and others where the ache was overwhelming. Grief is never easy, and it is always deeply personal.

But grief is not only about losing loved ones. We grieve in many ways—the loss of a job, the end of a friendship, moving away from a home that once held so much life and laughter. These moments remind us that grief is not just about death; it is about change, about learning how to live in a world that looks different than it once did. And acceptance? It does not happen overnight. It is a slow unfolding, a gradual embracing of a new reality.

Grief is also felt in the shifting landscapes of our world—the tragedies we see, the struggles of those we love, the uncertainty of the future. We grieve when life as we knew it changes unexpectedly, when what once felt secure is suddenly shaken. In those moments of doubt and fear, where do we turn?

Two Bible verses come to mind:

• Psalm 34:18: "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."
• Philippians 4:6: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

Even in our most broken moments, God is near. Even in the chaos of grief, He reminds us not to be anxious, but to bring everything to Him in prayer. Anything means exactly that—everything that burdens us. But how we see this promise makes all the difference. Grief can either keep us bound in sorrow or lead us to the One who can carry it for us.

Recently, I read about the concept of frame of reference—the lens through which we see the world. This idea has been transformative for me in navigating grief. Our perspective on loss can shape how we heal. Shifting our lens does not erase pain, but it helps us find meaning in it.

In saying goodbye to some remarkable men, the pain was real. Yet, as we shared their stories—their kindness, their humor, the lessons they left behind—I realized something powerful: grief is not just about what we lose, but also about what remains. Their impact, their love, and their legacy live on in those of us who continue forward.

Maybe that is what grief teaches us: that even in loss, there is something to hold onto. And as we shift our focus—seeing not just the void but the love that endures—we begin to heal. Not by forgetting, but by carrying forward what mattered most.

So, how can you support others who are grieving while also honoring your own healing process? By holding space for both pain and hope. By sharing memories, offering kindness, and allowing yourself to feel without fear of moving forward. Because healing does not mean leaving behind—it means learning to carry love differently. And in that, there is hope.